I am not so proud of myself at the moment.
I just made a phone call to query some excess charges on a toll road account, only to be told I could not be given the information, as I am not a secondary account holder. My husband had set this account up for both our vehicles (his and mine) so that any time we used a toll road, our tags would register the trip and the amount would come out of a specified amount we keep in the account that gets topped up as needed. Our credit card statement showed we were being charged a whole lot of charges ON TOP of the regular top up payment, so I wanted to clear this up.
After waiting I don’t know how long on the phone just to speak to someone, I was then told the news above. Needless to say I was irate – not only at being kept waiting for so long (as is the case with all phone calls to companies these days), but at the fact that I couldn’t query something as simple as toll road charges which may include my own vehicle! Now, this is not some sort of vendetta by my husband (we have a great, trusting relationship) to keep me from having any control or access to things, but this has happened before with other accounts. It is simply the way of things these days, and unless you specify another person when you set something up, it just doesn’t end up happening (who would have thought you would really need it for something like this?!!). I feel it is bureaucracy gone mad!
My reaction however to the poor girl on the other end of the phone was not something I’m proud of. What made me lash out like that? It was not only the situation of the moment, it was the situations that have taken place before, along the same lines, and the fact that as a female, it is unfortunately often the case that things get put automatically in the husband’s name, as though his partner doesn’t really count. Unless it is pointed out that you need to add your partner as a secondary (I hate this term too, it sounds like you are less important, why not JOINT) account holder, it is easy to forget or not even realise that you should have done so.
Am I the only one who is fed up with all this red tape for simple things? It seems to be just another way of controlling the masses and making sure we don’t have it easy – it takes away our power and control over our own actions and possessions and movements. For the sake of a few who may not want their spouse to know (and this works the other way around too, men being the secondary account person) what they are doing for some reason (usually dodgy) we all have to suffer the inconvenience.
The only positive thing about my episode today, is that I RECOGNISED my reaction and took a good look at why I reacted that way. Hopefully the more I do this (recognise my faults, inabilities to cope, negative reactions), the more I will grow and learn from them.
I am after all, only human!